When Father Papered the Parlour

Our parlor wanted papering, and Pa says it was waste
To call a paperhanger in, and so he made some paste.
He bought some rolls of paper, got a ladder and a brush
And with my mummy's nightgown on, at it he made a rush.

When Father papered the parlour you couldn't see him for paste
Dabbing it here! dabbing it there! paste and paper everywhere
Mother was stuck to the ceiling the children stuck to the floor
I never knew a blooming family so 'stuck up' before.

The pattern was 'blue roses' with its leaves red, white, and brown;
He'd stuck it wrong way up and now, we all walk upside down.
And when he trimm'd the edging off the paper with the shears,
The cat got underneath it, and dad cut off both its ears.

Soon dad fell down the stairs and dropp'd his paperhanger's can
On little Henrietta sitting there with her young man,
The paste stuck them together, as we thought t'would be for life,
We had to fetch the parson in to make them man and wife.

We're never going to move away from that house any more
For Father's gone and stuck the chairs and table to the floor,
We can't find our piano, though it's broad and rather tall,
We think that it's behind the paper Pa stuck on the wall.

Now, Father's sticking in the pub,through treading in the paste,
And all the family's so upset, they've all gone pasty faced.
While Pa says, now that Ma has spread the news from north to south,
He wishes he had dropped a blobof paste in Mother's mouth.

When Father Papered the Parlour

####.... R. P. Weston, 1878-1936, Melody - F. J. Barnes ....####