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The Baloney Song

Two Irishmen and a Newfie once went out for recreation
They carried enough provisions along to last a week's vacation
But they got lost up in the woods the night was dark and lonely
And all of their provisions ran out except one piece of baloney

Now one guy said you must admit there is no use in carving
There's not enough provisions left to keep us all from starving
I suggest we go to bed and tomorrow said Maloney
Whoever has the nicest dream eats the piece of baloney

Next morning when they all awoke at quarter after seven
One guy said I had a dream I dreamt I went to heaven
I met St. Peter at the gate, he was riding on a pony
Now I bet that you can't beat that dream so give me the piece of baloney

Now the next guy said I had a dream and it was a double feature
I also died and went to heaven and was welcomed by St. Peter
He come up to me and put out his hand saying put 'er there, Moloney
Now I know that you can't beat that dream so give me the piece of baloney

Now the Newfie said I know it's true the two of you were dreaming
The reason that I know it's true I was dreaming of you all evening
I saw you two go up above and gee but I was lonely
I thought that you would never get back so I got up and ate the baloney

Now this may be a lesson to you if you go out for recreation
Make sure you carry along enough grub to last for the duration
The story that I told to you, I hope you don't think it's funny
'Cause there's always a smart Newf around and there's always a piece of baloney

####.... Dick Nolan ....####