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Have you been in a club where there's darts being played
And watched and listened to all that was said
The things that they say when the team starts to lose
And the terrible feeling called the dartplayer's blues?
I jumped on me darts and I tore up me flights.
Me mother once told me there'd be some of those nights.
I'll end up with ulcers before I retire
If I don't stop comin' so close to the wire.
Oh, I'm doin' alright in makin' the score
But half of our team can't get on the board.
This year it's the cellar, last year we were first,
I've played some bad darts, but this is the worst.
Give me a Molson, A Fifty, A Blue,
A double black rum and a India, too,
'Cuz those bloody darts gonna drive me insane.
Half the night's over and we ain't got a game.
Look at them out there where the smoke fills the place
All hands watch the board with concern on their face
Up goes a shout as he aims for a tun
Oh, why is the twenty so close to the one?
One feller stands with his darts to his nose
And his hand up to steady hisself 'fore he throws
One scratches his leg and one scratches his head
And sticks up his finger to show how he did.
A scattered one checks to see who's up on top
And another poor devil counts the skunks that he got
There's some in the top ten and some down so far
That they spend half the night leanin' over the bar
Sayin' hey, bartender,
Give me a Molson, A Fifty, A Blue,
A double black rum and a India, too,
'Cuz those bloody darts gonna drive me insane.
Half the night's over and we ain't got a game.
Sure, half the year's over and we ain't got a game.