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The CN Bus

It was a cold winter's night and not a star was in sight
As we rolled down the hill to Random West
On the CNR bus that had caused quite a fuss
For replacing our Newfoundland express.

Now in a seat in the rear sat a man who was here
To see how long t'would take to make the dash.
Old MacMillian they said a promotion would get
If his buses could save the railway cash.

In a seat just ahead sat a lady in red
Maggy Hawkins from Upper Gullies Trap.
She weighed 23 stone and the bus gave a groan
As she got up and started for the back.

It was Maggie's intent as the floor boards she bent
To enter the powder room in back.
It was a small 2 x 4 with a hatch for a door
Situated beneath the luggage rack.

Now all the crowd gave a roar as she opened the door
And old Maggie to forced herself she tried.
But alas she got stuck like a Lundrigan truck
It was plain she never get inside.

She went back to her seat dripping sweat in the heat
Saying ooh how I miss the good old train.
And if this thing doesn't park until well after dark
My poor kidneys will never stand the strain.

Said a man turning pale, she's been drinking peg ale
Give her first aid - this surely is a crime.
That's when MacMillian did jump up in the aisle and did shout
Keep her rollin', were making record time!

For a hour they drove until outside Arnolds Cove
Old Mag got up and started for the door.
And his stop watch in his hand Gordy MacMillian took his stand
Told the driver to put her to the floor.

Now with a final lashing Maggie sucked in her cheeks
and a brave burst of fire and of steam
And a thunderous roar that shook the valley and the shore
And the bus blew apart beside a stream.

There were 20 men maimed as the rescue squad came
Not a trace of Maggie could be seen.
Old MacMillian went blind, one poor man blew his mind
And the driver woke up in Lamalene.

Well on the crest of a hill just outside of Clarenville
Stands a tombstone to mark Mag's last remains.
May her soul ever fly to that great bathroom in the sky
For she's the lady that gave us back our TRAAAAAIIIIINNNN.

####.... Joan Morrissey (?) ....####
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